Honor Yourself

Something's been bothering me for a while. It'll probably sound like such a silly reason when I write it. Because, you see, I don't like "parties". When I say parties, I mean the parties where everyone is wasted, drunk girls are screaming (or crying), the music is so loud you can't talk to anyone, and there's beer spilled all over the floor. To a lot of people, that is considered fun, and I wish them every enjoyment with their endeavors.

But for me, I'd much prefer a quiet, meaningful conversation - an enthralling book - an intense yoga class - an intimate dinner party - or perhaps even a solitary walk through nature. Call me old-fashioned, old-timey, or just plain old (I'm 22) - but I do not find enjoyment in many activities in which other young people partake.

The problem is, many of my peers find this as an opportunity to make fun of me.  "Sarah, you're no fun!", and "Sarah, you're a 90 year-old lady trapped in a 20 year-old's body!". I can't tell you how many times I've heard those things - benignly or maliciously intended. The other half of the time, I just get the "side-eye" from other girls when I say I'm not going to this bar or that party. But I don't understand it. Does my wish to avoid parties threaten them in some way? Do they think I feel superior in my lack of enjoyment? On the contrary, I feel overwhelmingly different. Isolated. Abnormal. Substandard. Why can't I have fun like other girls? Why can't I feel what they feel at a party?

I realized, though, that this is destructive thinking. My aversion to parties is something that has been consistent throughout my entire life; it's pretty safe to say that won't change. But I've been ignoring one of the most important tenets in my life - Honoring Yourself. 

Honoring our bodies is something we learn in yoga. But what about honoring our minds? Being true to our thoughts, wishes, desires, and beliefs is something that is just as crucial and necessary to our health as physical deference.

As hard as it is, I must learn to honor myself. I must accept myself as I am, and treat myself with the same kindness and respect I would give to others.

Open your heart. Honor Yourself.