Call Me Crazy

I recently came across an article in Women’s Health Magazine, entitled “All-Natural Depression Fixes: Four all-natural ways to snap yourself out of a slump”.



If you immediately noticed what’s wrong with that title, please feel free to disregard the rest of this article.

However, if you didn’t notice what was wrong with that title, then you need to start changing the way you think about mental illness.

For those of you still reading, let’s be clear about the actual definition of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is a “disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. ”

It is very important to differentiate the meaning of clinical depression from the casual, vernacular use of the word, in expressions like “I’m depressed because I bombed that math test”, or “This weather is so depressing.” Casual statements like these change the social definition of depression and contribute to the stigmatization of mental illness (but more on that later).

The Mayo Clinic goes on to clarify that “depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of.” Depression is an actual medical condition that measurably affects the brain. As written on the website for the National Institute of Health (NIH):

Depressive illnesses are disorders of the brain. Brain-imaging technologies, such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), have shown that the brains of people who have depression look different than those of people without depression. The parts of the brain involved in mood, thinking, sleep, appetite, and behavior appear different.

In fact, studies have shown that depression is associated with atrophying of the hippocampus. According to a report  by the Stanford School of Medicine, the hippocampus is a  “structure [that] plays a critical role in learning and memory, and the magnitude of the hippocampal volume loss (nearly 20% in some reports; [reference]) helps explain some well-documented cognitive deficits that accompany major depression.”


The Hippocampus is associated with the functions of learning, emotions, and memory.

 This very real, physical illness – the one that Women’s Health magazine says you can “snap yourself out” of – is one that affects approximately 6.7% of all adults in the US (Source: NIMH). Millions of people are affected by depression, whether they suffer from it themselves, or indirectly, as a family member or loved one.

Women’s Health Magazine, I would like to pose a question to you: Is this the sort of dialogue on Mental Health that you would like to create – one that will make women suffering from depression believe that if they only just ate chocolate or took Omega-3 supplements, they’d “snap out” of their illness?

If this is the message you are trying to send to your readers, why stop there? Why not have a new feature article: “Cure Yourself of Cancer- Five Easy Ways to “Snap Out” Of It!”, or “All-Natural AIDS Fixes: What YOU should be eating to stop having AIDS.”

I think I’ve made my point.

In terms of scientific literacy, depression is at a disadvantage when compared to many other diseases – doctors still don’t really know what its exact causes are, and can’t explain how it works like they would another disease. Similarly to our knowledge of cancer, we don’t know the exact mechanisms that cause depression, but we do have treatments in place to manage the symptoms.

The symptoms of mental illnesses themselves, however, are something that contribute to the systematic misunderstanding of mental health. Consider, for example, something as simple as nasal congestion. What is that a symptom of? It could be a symptom of a variety of ailments – allergies, the common cold, a deviated septum, or a sinus infection (to name a few). And this is just involving the nose, one of the best-understood (medically speaking) parts of the human body. Now take the brain, the most complex organ in our bodies. Obviously, illnesses of the brain would manifest themselves through mental symptoms first. But just like nasal congestion, a symptom of the brain could be caused by many different factors. Take sadness – someone could be sad because they lost a loved one, or had a bad break-up, or got into an argument. Or, they could be experiencing sadness because they are suffering from a mental illness.

But what if people treated something like nasal congestion as they did depression (or mental health illnesses in general)? What if people said…

“Have you ever tried not being congested?”

“I don’t think it’s healthy that you need to take medication to unclog your nose. Don’t you think it’s changing who you are?”

“Well, lying in bed obviously isn’t helping you get better. Don’t you think you should try something else?”

How productive would that be?

But this is the dialogue Women’s Health Magazine is creating about depression. Don’t get me wrong – they are not the sole perpetrators of this stigmatization. But it is ignorant (though well-intentioned, I’m sure) articles and dialogues like these that cause people to be ashamed of their depression.

I do give them credit, though, in mentioning some science in their article – for example, that the levels of serotonin in the brain play a role in depression. However, as I stated previously, the cause of depression is not as simple as serotonin levels. The brain is incredibly complex – we have billions of interconnected neurons, forming roughly a quadrillion (that’s a million billion) synaptic connections. Not surprisingly, the brain is one of the least understood systems in the body. Understanding the exact causes of depression may not happen for a very long time.

Source: Harvard Medical School

This may be one of the underlying reasons why mental illnesses are so misunderstood. The brain is an incredibly complex piece of biological machinery…only in recent years have we started to understand even a fraction of the functions and roles it plays. In many circumstances, understanding other types of illnesses is easier. For example, diabetes occurs when the body is not able to produce enough insulin; cancer is the mass propagation of abnormal cells in the body. And depression is just as much of a biological ailment… yet along with other mental illnesses, it has been socially stigmatized in a way that no other diseases have.

Often characterized as a “weakness” or lack of willpower, the social definition of depression has been transformed into an indictment of the personality.  All too often, people assume that someone suffering from depression isn’t “trying” hard enough to be happy, or is “giving up” on themselves. However, would you condemn a person who has the flu as having “given up” on their bodies?

You wouldn’t, would you? Yet this is how society has condemned me – and the millions of others who have depression.

Very few of my friends know I have depression. Up until recently, it was something I was ashamed of and humiliated by. What sort of person, I asked myself, needs to take a pill to feel happy? I dismissed the thoughts in my head – the ones of worthlessness, of hopelessness – as irrationalities. I closed myself off to others.

I did this in self-defense. Any time I had ever shared my secret with others, it was met with incredible ignorance and insensitivity.

“Oh, you’re on crazy pills, Sarah? I should have guessed.”

“Why are you being so crazy, Sarah?”

“Stop being so emotional. You’re being crazy.”

Crazy.   Crazy.   Crazy.

A few years ago, I got into an fight with my best friend. It was over something minor, but it escalated to the point where she used an unforgivable argument against me – “Sarah, you can’t try to blame me for this… you have to see a psychiatrist, that should tell you something about your mental capabilities.”

This was something said to me by my best friend – the person I had hoped would give me solace and comfort. And this person took my disease and used it against me.

Even now, my more well-intentioned friends still don’t know how to react. After revealing my illness to another friend a few weeks ago, she said, “Sarah, you can trick that illness out of you with time. Forget it affects you… habits are pretty damn strong.”

Trick that illness out of me?

Forget that it affects me­?

Even though she was just trying to help, her words did more damage than all of those who had called me crazy throughout the years. Because, you see, the unsaid implication under those words was that it was my choice to have depression… that if I was only stronger of mind, I would be able to “forget” I had this illness, and "trick" my way out of it. In essence, her argument presupposed that the depression was my fault.

And I am here to tell you today that this sort of dialogue MUST end.

No one should EVER feel ashamed of their mental illness.

No one should EVER feel that they are to blame for having a disease.

No one should EVER be afraid to say that they have depression, or ask for help.

In my journey of having depression, I have been relatively blessed. I have been to the point where many others don’t come back – the point where life is given up as hopeless; where there is nothing worth staying for – and I have returned. I have lived through my darkest hour, when I thought I would never see the light of life again.

I AM A SURVIVOR.

But I am one of the lucky ones.

Every year, over 40,000 people lose their battle against their own minds, and commit suicide. For many of these victims’ family and friends, their deaths come as a surprise. Many people are too ashamed of their illness to seek help. I have personally witnessed this side of depression, too – in college, one of my friends from high school committed suicide. No one had even known anything was wrong, not even his family. He was popular and always seemed happy, but he still took his own life. He never sought help, and thus never received the treatment he needed.





How many lives could we change if mental illness wasn’t treated as a weakness, but as the disease that it is? In how many hearts could we inspire hope by spreading the knowledge that depression is not anyone's fault – it's a disease – and is treatable? And while not all of those suffering from depression consider suicide, nearly all of those who committed suicide have suffered from a mental illness. How many of those lives could have been saved if they had shared their secret, and gotten help?

I am sending a message to all the people reading this who have felt alone – felt hopeless – felt ashamed. I am here to tell you that you are NOT alone, things are NOT hopeless, and you should NEVER feel ashamed. 

One day, we WILL change the conversation about Mental Health. It will take time, education, and advocacy; but it can and will be done. 

However, it will require an effort on all of our parts. For those of us suffering with a mental illness, we must find strength and empowerment in the knowledge that depression is a disease that is biological but treatable. Armed with this information, we must speak out against the stigma we face every day. We must educate others and help them understand that depression is not something you can "snap out of" or "trick" your brain into forgetting.

And for those of you who do not have a mental illness, EDUCATE YOURSELVES. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is understanding. Knowledge is hope. Keep in mind that one in four people suffer from a mental illness at some point in their lives, which means you probably already know someone with a mental illness. Don't let them suffer alone. The best thing you can do is just to be there for a friend or loved one; reserving judgment and offering love.

Together we can change the dialogue surrounding mental health. Together we can save lives. And it starts with YOU.


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