Today started off like any other day– I got up at 6:30, dropped my puppy off at daycare, picked up my coworker for our carpool, and was in work by 7:20. The day progressed similarly, with the typical meeting or two, and my usual lunch break at the gym.
Then, just as I was about to leave work, I found out that a friend of mine had been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma (a type of cancer). While I wouldn't call this friend of mine particularly close, he had been the president of a political club while I was the social media chair, which gave us many hours together in meetings and collaborations. This friend went on to become the president of his fraternity, and eventually our university's student government president.
Amiable and liked by all, this young man had the ability to bring even the most timid of conversationalists out of their shell. Such was his talent at communication that he was once interviewed on
national television by one of the most watched TV networks on air. Even though he was still a junior in college, I was already preparing myself to vote for him in the 2028 Presidential Elections.
And I can't think of a person less deserving of this disease.
When I heard the news, I felt as if a heavy weight had just been dropped on my chest. I couldn't breathe. This young man has lived one of the most inspiring lives I've ever witnessed– now only to be marred by the terrible, awful, destructive force that is cancer. Regardless of the outcome of this disease, he will always bear the scars of its effects. He doesn't deserve it.
But if only wishing something could make it so. If only sending positive energy to another could heal their body.
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This news had saddened my day, but I had already made plans with another friend. Arriving early at our meeting spot, I wandered around listlessly, waiting for him to arrive.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman staring at me from a few yards away.
Her appearance was itself unremarkable. Diminutive with short brown hair, the woman appeared to be in her sixties. She wore sneakers, khaki capris, and a plain purple zip-up sweater; no logos, no badges, nothing. And there she was, walking towards me.
"Hello," she said. "I saw you walking by, and I wanted to let you know that God loves you."
Disconcerted, I wasn't sure what to say at first. This woman's appearance and mannerisms lent no impression of fanaticism or any unsoundness of mind, leading me to believe that she wasn't a proselytizer. Yet I wondered what she had seen in my face that made her stop.
"Thank you," I said, uncertain. "That's very kind of you to say."
"Are you Christian?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"Good. I just wanted you to know that God loves you."
And then she walked away.
Utterly taken aback, I felt tears come to my eyes. Not knowing me, or who I am, or what I've been through, this woman saw me at random and chose to say those specific words to me.
My faith is something that I've always struggled with, being raised as Catholic but going through periods of agnosticism and even atheism. But having seen the things I've seen and experienced the things I've experienced, I can only conclude that there is a greater energy present that exceeds our known world. Now, I've come to accept my God as a force that transcends human understanding– eclipsing the words written in the Bible and any other mechanism created by man.
However, I have always struggled with guilt. Guilt that I was never kind enough, or guilt that I had ignored someone in need. And above all, the encumbering guilt from the monumental mistakes I've already made in my young life.
Especially today, I felt the guilt that such a disease had passed me by and manifested itself in someone who should have, by all that is good, been given a full, healthy life. Guilt that the cancer chose him, and not me.
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We exist in four dimensions. Our location in these dimensions is constantly changing. We may be anchored in a certain three-dimensional location for a while, but
time is always moving. As soon as we experience one second, we move on to the next in a continuous flow of existence.
This is why I believe that everything happens for a reason; that there are no coincidences. For instance, think of all the seconds that have passed since the beginning of time. They are too great to count. If all of time was a line a million miles long, this day would be but a subatomic particle in comparison.
Then think of all the places that exist in our universe. Again, they are too many to count.
For this moment today to have happened, all four dimensions must have been in alignment– meaning out of the trillions of possibilities in each dimension and their infinite permutations, this
one combination occurred.
To me, this is the Greater Force showing His hand.
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Call it what you will. I don't expect others to share my faith. For me it is God, but for others it is a higher energy or intelligent being. To scientists, it is the underlying law of the universe that eludes our comprehension. To Buddhists, it is the ultimate state of understanding– Nirvana.
Nearly every culture or group have their own explanation for the inexplicable. Each have their own name for the force that is greater than ourselves. But perhaps– just perhaps– it is all the same thing.
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I conclude my narrative by expressing gratitude for the place I am in right now. I have a loving family, amazing friends, a place to sleep at night, enough food to eat and water to drink, and above all– my health.
Through the difficult times I've faced and the instances where I've felt there was no hope, I was still being led to the place of safety and well-being that I am in now. And today, I was blessed with the reminder that I am loved, and that there is always something to be grateful for.
